When I Stop Fighting: The Unexpected Joy of Getting My Head Out of My Ass

Book Synopsis: “Just like water seeks its own level, so does everything else, including idiots. I was one of those at that point in my life.” When I Stop Fighting is an eye-opening, honest, unapologetic take on life. It’s about overcoming obstacles, overcoming addictions, and taking risks.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place in life where we don’t want to be. For me, there is no more glamorous way to explain it than my head was in my ass. I’m a regular guy with a regular upbringing. I’m not a Navy Seal, PhD, or retired politician. I came from a disciplined, blue-collar, mid-western household where our needs were met, but not many of our wants. There was no back-up plan. I wasn’t getting an inheritance.

I was not living anything close to a productive, happy, fulfilling life. I was digging myself deeper into the quagmire of dysfunction, addiction to drugs and alcohol, hiding, fears, and dishonesty. Especially, dishonesty with myself. A self-imposed prison. I was moving ever closer to an end that would have been devastating. A moment of honesty and clarity shone a flicker of hope and opened my eyes to the potential for a different way of approaching this gift we call life.

I started to become aware of what we all crave at one time or another. I wanted to be happy; I wanted peace and contentment; I wanted to be financially secure; I wanted to be free from my fears; I didn’t want to feel insecure and exposed; I wanted a different life. As When I Stop Fighting explains: “I can be a victim of myself or a product of the work I do to become a better version of myself.”

Trying and failing on many occasions does not mean we should quit. It means figure it out. It means try again. It means acquire the humility to admit you don’t know. This is a journey about doing just that. Having now been completely sober almost four decades, I’ve uncovered, committed to, and worked very hard on a way of life that keeps on giving, so that I can give to others.

“Look to principles for guidance. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. If we don’t do that, we risk being tossed about by the waves of life, ad infinitum.” When I Stop Fighting illustrates how every single one of us can stop for a few moments, take a pause, evaluate ourselves, and determine what we want to get out of our time here. A move toward a fulfilling, gratifying, and rewarding place is available for all of us, no matter where we start.

This is a must read if you or someone you know is struggling, stuck, scared, unsure, or in need of a brand-new way of perceiving themselves, their world, and this journey we call life. God may or may not have been calling me for a purpose. I’m not in charge of what God decides to do, nor would I pretend I might know. I’m pretty sure though, he was hoping I’d get my head out of my ass, so I can help others do the same.